So, lately I’ve been feeling rather fat — moreso than usual.  I’ve been gaining weight lately, but haven’t been looking at the scale out of fear.  Today, I decided to step on the digital scale to see what I’m weighing in at.  My fears were warranted — the scale read “0L”.  My heart sunk.  I actually did reach the point where the scale said “One at a time, please!”  While out and about this evening, we stopped at the mall and while I was in the restroom there, I saw that there was one of those coin-op scales.  I said, why not, I’ll see what it says.  “352.4″  Jeebus Crisco, what the hell have I done to myself??  I’m now officially the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I gotta stop this.  Monday is the day.

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